


The Metaphorical Walls Cave In Sometimes

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 20:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5512355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>who helps the helper when the helper needs help?</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Metaphorical Walls Cave In Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> who helps the helper when the helper needs help?

2008.

Tyler can't get out of his house fast enough. The walls are falling. He's suffocating. Nobody can help and it makes Zack cry when he doesn't think Tyler can hear him. Tyler can hear him. They shared a room and Tyler doesn't sleep. He shaves his head because he thinks maybe the thoughts can leave faster if they don't get stuck in his hair. He doesn't come home until almost dark when his mom is lighting candles and his dad comes home from work. He sees their tired bones. He hears every creak and crack and snap crackle pop. They're out of rice krispies. Tyler doesn't sit and eat with his family. He only forces himself to call on Sundays. They don't go to the same church.

 

 

2009.

Tyler's voice shakes. He doesn't see people enjoying themselves, enjoying his music. He can only think about his shaky hands and his voice, betraying him. He plays it off. Works the hands in. Shakes them more violently, in front of his face. He imagines his hands around his throat. Stabilizing his vocal chords, he convinces himself.  _I'm a Goner._ That phrase repeats while he sings about his dead grandpa. Nobody in the audience stands out. After the show he meets a guy named Josh. They exchange phone numbers. Tyler goes home and loses the paper with Josh's number on it.

 

 

2011.

Chris and Nick leave. Tyler panics and breaks a mirror. He can feel the music leaking out of his fingers, the I told you so's and the go back to basketball's. He's still crying when Josh picks up his phone. They'd been talking. Scheming. But nothing, because Tyler had Chris. Josh asks if he's okay. Tyler says he's getting sick. He swears he can hear himself laughing. His brain's been sick for years. Tyler changes the subject and tells Josh that he has a few songs he wants to record with him, and he's already got an album title planned. That last part is a lie. Josh asks what the title is. Tyler grabs a picture of Zack from his little league days off his desk and tells Josh the album is Regional at Best.

 

 

2012.

Tyler is sitting in the gutter with his accordion. Mark tells him he did great. He likes Mark. He doesn't feel great. He did several takes of himself yelling at himself. Josh is there, even though he's not in the video. It's still his band, too. Josh stands next to him in the gutter. He says Tyler's gonna catch a cold. He helps Tyler to his feet and doesn't ask him to pretend to be okay. They walk towards the van they drove here in in silence. Tyler looks at the house that was falling in on him. He feels like running up the driveway and kicking the door in. Breaking things. Josh puts his arm around Tyler's shoulders and Tyler says they should all go get starbucks. Mark drives.

 

 

2013.

Japan loves Lovely. Josh calls Tyler to tell him to pack his toothbrush. Fall Out Boy takes them on tour. Tyler has to buy a toothbrush at one of the stops they make. They push Truce out of the nest on New Year's Eve and watch it fly. Tyler never knew the extent of the word "overwhelmed" until Josh found him panicking in his bunk on their bus. Bus. Just yesterday they were in a van. The day before that, the middle of a road in Ohio. Tyler had seen both coasts and when he told Josh how that made him feel small, Josh smiles and said it was a good thing Tyler wasn't an astronaut. Josh proceeds to recount several episodes of The X Files and Tyler's hands stop shaking, even though that's his thing now. He asks Josh how he knows. And Josh asks him to clarify. Tyler feels 2008, 2009, crashing on him and his house is falling on him again. How does Josh know that Tyler's going to be okay? Josh scratches his head, leaves his hand in his hair. He says because he's always going to be there. Here.

 

 

2015.

Tyler looks at Josh when Josh is distracted. Texting, tweeting, watching a movie. He knows, for the most part, what goes on behind his forehead, but sometimes he doesn't. His favorite thing has become asking Josh what's on his mind. Josh smiles, usually, and tells Tyler that it's aliens, Scully. Sometimes he says that he wants a haircut. Sometimes he says he wants a cat. And sometimes he doesn't say anything at all, just looks. Tyler tells him there's people who pay millions for dyed hair, especially from men named Joshua Dun. Tyler sings the only Buddy Holly song he knows on ukulele. He writes a song with a trumpet part. Josh waits until they leave the studio to hug his best friend. Tyler breathes, because Josh didn't just pick up the rubble for Tyler to crawl out of. He built a new house. Extra support beams. Lots of windows. Natural light. Tyler makes Josh sit out when they play the song acoustically because he needs Josh to understand that this is his thank you. Josh sits out because he also needs to say thank you. 


End file.
